Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
