don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Come on in and take your pants off
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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