They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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