I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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