he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
handjob tips. give me some.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
