You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
