he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Houston, we have a blender
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
