But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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