I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
