i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
