Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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