Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
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I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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