What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
