he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
