So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
