I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
