Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We are all done wearing pants today
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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