In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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