he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
