can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
