I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
