May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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