There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
