What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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