She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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