is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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