were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
