If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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