but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize