you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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