oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
