if you like me you must not know who I am
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
