but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
