Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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