I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
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Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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