I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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