You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
