i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I enjoy the company of your penis
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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