peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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