was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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