I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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