Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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