We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
