she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
