That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
This baby is an asshole
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
