FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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