he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think your dad took our porno
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
