you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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