In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
