those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
