'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
