i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
