Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
