i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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