Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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