I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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