I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
