4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
