It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
